love go go!! 

do--nuts?

Birthday yesterday...
It was nice.
Drinking, having fun, and even some sushi..
A bit hung over today, but its expected.

Got some nice gifts.
Say hello to my new baby.
me loves her.

Low...

I feel low.
Feel totally, utterly, endelessly useless.
No-one needs me, no-one cares.
And actually. Im tired of just giving.
Fukk it.
People are just not worth it.

Anyways. Ive been sewing (spelling??) a lot. Never gonna have a future in that.

Wondering why the artificial cherry flavor never tastes like natural cherries do.
Just something we call cherry but it isnt. Cherry-coke is still good.

im trying out new things..

new moodthingy. gimme comment if you prefer this one or the old?
I know, my page is not looking good right now. Im testing the stuff and deciding what to keep and then I will make a completely new design.
later... *working on stuff*

From Ebichan

Bold the ones you have seen, and then add three more at the bottom.

1. X-Men
2. The Craft
3. X2
4. Swimfan
5. Fellowship of the Ring
6. Finding Nemo
7. Peter Pan
8. Home Alone
9. Aladdin
10. The Ring
11. 10 Things I Hate About You
12. Not Another Teen Movie
13. Spiceworld
14. 8 Mile
15. Bambi
16. Pirates of the Carribean
17. Edward Scissorhands
18. Stepmom
19. My Best Friend's Wedding
20. 101 Dalmations
21. Scream
22. Scream 2
23. Scream 3
24. Big Daddy
25. Billy Madison
26. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
27. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
28. Heartbreakers
29. Dumb & Dumber
30. Two Weeks Notice
31. Scary Movie
32. Look Who's Talking
33. Blade
34. Blade II
35. O
36. Titanic
37. Carrie
38. Carrie 2: The Rage
39. Daddy Day Care
40. Legally Blonde
41. Austin Powers
42. Storm of the Century
43. Oliver and Company
44. Two Towers
45. Return of the King
46. Mighty Ducks
47. Fast and the Furious
48. 2 Fast, 2 Furious
49. A Walk To Remember
50. XXX
51. Beauty and the Beast
52. I Know What You Did Last Summer
53. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
54. Sound of Music
55. Mary Poppins
56. Tuck Everlasting
57. The Patriot
58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Killing Ms. Tingle
60. Crossroads
61. Now and Then
62. Pearl Harbor
63. Just Married
64. Cast Away
65. Radio Flyer
66. Final Destination
67. Lady and the Tramp
68. Shallow Hal
69. 40 Days and 40 Nights
70. Bring It On
71. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
72. The Outsiders
73. The Matrix
74. Perfect Storm
75. Cruel Intentions
76. Never Been Kissed
77. Clueless
78. Bruce Almighty
79. Remember the Titans
81. Girl, Interrupted
82. SWAT
83. the Sixth Sense
84. PhoneBooth
85. The Lion King
86. Urban Legend
87. Nightflier
88. Lion King 2
89. Little Mermaid
90. American Pie
91. Center Stage
92. Scooby Doo
93. Bedazzled
94. Mrs. Doubtfire
95. Save the Last Dance
96. My Girl
97. American Beauty
98. Romeo & Juliet
99. the Lost World
100. Casper
101. Miss Congeniality
102. The Rock
103. Face Off
104. Moulin Rouge
105. Sleeping Beauty
106. Alien
107. Tombstone
108. Lake Placid
109. The Recruit
110. The Shining
111. Pocahontas
112. French Kiss
113. Pretty Woman
114. Dirty Dancing
115. Italian Job
116. Love Actually
117. Identity
118. The Mummy
119. Drumline
120. Finding Forrester
121. Monster's Inc.
122. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
123. Spawn
124. All I Want
125. Mallrats
126. Dogma
127. Rat Race
128. Stigmata
129. Eye Of The Beholder
130. To Die For
131. Gangs Of New York
132. A Clockwork Orange
133. Chicago
134. Big Fish
135. Donnie Darko
136. Chinatown
137. There's Something About Mary
138. National Security
139. What Dreams May Come
140. Lilo and Stitch
141. Selena
142. Les Miserables; Tenth Anniversary Concert
143. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
144. Oliver
145. The Haunting
146. Jane Eyre
147. Monty Python and The Holy Grail
148. Annie
149. Pleasantville
150. The Goodbye Girl
151. Evita
152. How to Deal
153. Drop Dead Gorgeous
154. Waiting for Guffman
155. The Breakfast Club
156. Best In Show
157. The Last Samurai
158. The Green Mile
159. Jerry Maguire
160. the Talented Mr. Ripley
161. American History X
162. Happiness
163. Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels
164. Desperado
165. Dead Man
166. the Shawshank Redemption
167. Jeffrey
168. Fried Green Tomatoes
169. Breakfast at Tiffany's
170. Charade
171. Top Gun
172. The Last of the Mohicans
173. The Passion of the Christ
174. Rockstar
175. Four Weddings and a Funeral
176. Panic Room
177. The Life of David Gale
178. Alice in Wonderland
179. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
180. Soapdish
181. The Exorcist
182. Marci X
183. Uptown Girls
184. Battle Royal
185. Stand by me
186. The gathering
187. Dogfight

sometimes

sometimes when Im drunk, the world and its habitants look like a really weird kind of sketchy anime...
The feeling that gives me is something that pretty much could explain the past week.
Its been... weird. Sad, bad, confusing, happy, tearing, caring.. all in one. Almost like a swiss knife. Or really not, but you get the point.
Last sunday (was it? Ebi?) or maybe it was monday? I was almost run over three times.. First by a car (hit me in the elbow. I didnt get damaged, surely hope the car did...) then by a small motorcycle and last and most certainly least a bike. The funny thing is that it wasnt my fault.. I was as usual walking around with my mind somewhere else, but Im sure I was as careful as one can get...
Still... three times in the same day within a couple a hours...
Good thing I dont think its a sign..
but what do you think?

new

hope you like my new weatherpixie..
(right side of the page...down a little)

enjoying stockholms great views... 

post is in today..

If you are wondering why I havent been posting, its because I dont know how I feel.
Im okay, though right now I feel rejected, outside and alone.
And still I know I will get through it.
I know there will be people fighting side by side with me.
I know its gonna be good... but then again I know it will all go downhill again.

I helped out at the new cafe again yesterday (surely I told you about that? no? well.. my friends mom is starting up a new cafe and Ive been there working some). It was relaxing. Washing windows, dishes, espressomachines, putting chairs and tables together and to their places.
And [pausing.. telephone ringing..]
now I have to go again.
Ill write the rest later.

Edit:
Its now 23.25 pm and I got home a while ago.
Just to get you really confused: Im happy right now.
See how twisted my emotional life is.?
The phonecall was from the coffeeshop. Got to do some work again. nice. moniiiiiii...
And after that I got to see some japanese dance. Pretty, colorful and limber ladies. Happiness I drink thee...
Coffee tasted good after the performance, especially when it was combined with some good ol' shitchating (yea yea spellling errors.. look at me ignoring them ;))
nightly walks with the dog are also highly appreciated...
come to think of it... bye.

check this out!!

this blew me away!

As always things have a tendency to change.
Im feeling better. Some people proved to me why I love them. Some others Im still a bit disappointed at, but I guess its gonna improve too.

The period being has been a lot about movies and tv. Why I dont know. Substituting this world?
Some of the ones seen:

Love Actually- big downer. huge in fact. My moviegurus been telling me its gonna be better than I expected. Sadly that wasn't true, though it was okay.

Antitrust- must be one of the worst movies Ive ever seen. But Ryan Philippe is a hottie. yum.

The Gathering- Loved it! See it! Though Im such a wimp it gave me some freaky images...

Movies still left:
Han ni zai yiki (Tillsammans med dig in Swedish) seen half of it, it seems promising
Bangkok dangerous. Also a future promise.

Enough about that. and of this post.

Alone

How can one feel so lonely in this large, rainy city?
Today Im not even trying to make sense.
Im too disappointed.
People are tearing me apart.
And I cant blame it on anyone else but me.
And I know it, this is what happens if you let your feelings roam free.
If you love, you can expect to get disappointed. That the natural outcome.
Never love, never get hurt. No woman, no cry.
People have been trying to tell that to us a million, billion times before.
Put my thick head never still grasped it. Why couldn't I learn?
*slaps herself silly*
Surely we also would be more alone without those moments of true contact, but I doubt.
Surely I'll be happy again tomorrow. Hopefully.