And then they come, those moments of clarity.
Talking with one of your closest and suddenly you realize what it is that is wrong.
She is one of the people that the world would be sooo much poorer without.
And one of those I would almost certainly be lost without.
The beauty is that she feels the same way.
I really dont believe I could ever trust to need someone that would not need me.
Anywhoo, what we talked about will stay between us.
But there were this iceclear and a little cold realizations.
And I know I have changed. Looking back only a couple of months I see that I'm not the same person anymore.
More confident, yes. I've chosen to cut out some people from my life. Chose to let some others get closer. Chose to leave the mental prison I put myself in years ago, and though I have not left it completely, I have at least found the lock and parts of the key.
Yeah I know, just bullshit in print, the same lines you can read in any selfhelp-"change your thinking"books, but still true.
And do know this, I am more a feeling than a thinking person, despite what you think about me. So thinking right does not always change my life, feeling right almost always does. You really don't have to feel the same way, but you do have to just let me have my own way to deal with things.
As always discussions on life tend to lean in on the subject of love now and then..
I dont know if I can love the same way again.
The way I did before, pure, big, trusting.
And I feel I will always love Him (first love) still.
But it is truly time to move on.
I dont know where this new thing is going, but I know that people are stressing me to the point that I just wanna break it off.
And I wont let them do that to me. Whatever way this is going, it is still just between him and me.
Why isn't it "promitted" in this world to actually take things slow??? At first people understood, but hey, now its gone a month (ONE MONTH, people!!! just one!), shouldn't I call him my boyfriend??? No. And people have the nerve to actually comment on it?
I'm tired of the world stressing me. I can't and won't do as most people want me to. Final. Goodness, I'm in such a need of a drink.
She is one of the people that the world would be sooo much poorer without.
And one of those I would almost certainly be lost without.
The beauty is that she feels the same way.
I really dont believe I could ever trust to need someone that would not need me.
Anywhoo, what we talked about will stay between us.
But there were this iceclear and a little cold realizations.
And I know I have changed. Looking back only a couple of months I see that I'm not the same person anymore.
More confident, yes. I've chosen to cut out some people from my life. Chose to let some others get closer. Chose to leave the mental prison I put myself in years ago, and though I have not left it completely, I have at least found the lock and parts of the key.
Yeah I know, just bullshit in print, the same lines you can read in any selfhelp-"change your thinking"books, but still true.
And do know this, I am more a feeling than a thinking person, despite what you think about me. So thinking right does not always change my life, feeling right almost always does. You really don't have to feel the same way, but you do have to just let me have my own way to deal with things.
As always discussions on life tend to lean in on the subject of love now and then..
I dont know if I can love the same way again.
The way I did before, pure, big, trusting.
And I feel I will always love Him (first love) still.
But it is truly time to move on.
I dont know where this new thing is going, but I know that people are stressing me to the point that I just wanna break it off.
And I wont let them do that to me. Whatever way this is going, it is still just between him and me.
Why isn't it "promitted" in this world to actually take things slow??? At first people understood, but hey, now its gone a month (ONE MONTH, people!!! just one!), shouldn't I call him my boyfriend??? No. And people have the nerve to actually comment on it?
I'm tired of the world stressing me. I can't and won't do as most people want me to. Final. Goodness, I'm in such a need of a drink.
posted by Naru | 1:05 AM
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